Life Changing Event - Diary of a Widow
A little background:
In this blog I’m telling about my husband’s illness and a subsequent death.
I wrote the following to his students and I’ve changed some of the wording to make sense in my blog to you.
Dennis first learned of his illness, colon cancer, in March 2021.
He tried and certainly wanted to continue to keep working but for the most part, was unable to make the walk to the studio, just a few blocks and if he could do the walk, he was too tired to paint once he got there.
Instead his days were filled with natural cancer treatments like infrared sauna, hyperbaric oxygen chamber, acupuncture and sitting for a vitamin C intravenous drip, and later getting ozone therapy, which our daughter Camille had researched and been trained in giving. Plus, we all continued to research natural cancer treatments, while he and I spent many hours each day in healing meditations. During this time, Dennis continued to be be involved and communicate with his students, both in person and on-line as much as he was able.
Dennis loved his work painting and he loved his students.
As natural treatments continued, he, his family and I, his wife, remained hopeful that he would recover.
I don’t want to get into details, but recovery was just beyond his and our reach.
We all loved and cherished Dennis and his beautiful, one of a kind paintings and his insightful words and language.
And now it is our job—me, as his wife and co-worker, model and constant companion from the very beginning of his painting journey, and Camille, our daughter and creator of his on-line presence and co-owner of Dennis Perrin Fine Art, plus our two sons Jonas Perrin and Jamie Perrin to keep the legacy of Dennis Perrin alive!
We at DPFA are very excited to share our first step to the Dennis Perrin Legacy with the DP Legacy Shop www.dennisperrinshop.com
With Love and Respect,
Aimee Perrin
My husband, me and friends called him Denny, believed he could heal if he believed strongly enough. I shared his belief. We meditated with Dr.Joe Dispenza meditations for many hours every day, with confidence believing in the idea that “if your thoughts can make you sick, your thoughts can make you well”. It’s not that it didn’t work or that we didn’t do it right but I believe , sometimes things happen that we can’t fully understand here in the physical world. I am still pondering on events leading up to his death, did we try hard enough, should we have tried another therapy, should we have done chemo right away…., but I also know that looking back and second and third guessing is not going to bring him back or do me or anybody any good.
From my point of view I am forever grateful for the few months we had together during his journey. We learned a level of love and caring that the previous 42 years of marriage we hadn’t known. Those last few months since his surgery in August when his colon was perforated by the tumor and was removed, and an ostomy was placed and he continued to lose weight and strength—-were tender. We could not sleep together because of his constant pain and he could only rest on the couch sitting up. During the day we meditated, and watched a little TV, enjoying hgtv shows, we loved Home Town and especially Maine Cabin Masters and a few favorites. On one show, can’t remember which a character was saying that everyone needs someone to love that they can say, “ Good Morning Sweetheart, I love you” and then kiss. We adopted this every morning! I would come down stairs from sleeping by myself and greet him, after spending the night on the couch with us saying in unison, “Good Morning Seeetheart, I love you!” Sealed with a kiss.
I’m still saying those words in the morning and imagining him right here with me.
Those last few months of our life together and the deep love and connection were priceless. And I’m so happy we had that time.
I am fully aware that this blog, my blog, is usually about health and well-being, diet and type one diabetes and my life and discoveries accordingly.
When my sister Becki died a few years ago I learned firsthand about the effects of grief on blood sugar. If I looked at old pictures of Becki, in the family, with me or really any old photos with Becki my blood sugar could rise 100 or more points. So eventually I avoided old pictures because of the trigger. When Denny died I already knew this but I still looked through old pictures of our life together but I didn’t dwell as much and I had family around more to distract me from my all consuming grief. My blood sugars were not as bad. Of course there were times that I completely lost it, crying with the loss of our life together but it was coupled with relief that he was no longer suffering and there were no more doctor visits, no more constant worry about his comfort. Whatever it was, my blood sugars were fairly normal.
About my travels:
I decided to fly to AZ to visit Denny’s sister’ land her family, go to a holistic dentist and enjoy the warmer weather and the ability to walk, long walks.
I’ve been averaging 5 miles per day and my blood sugars are loving it! Walking is the perfect exercise for improving your metabolism which translates into really good blood sugars. If I were to prescribe any exercise for anyone diabetic type one or type two or not, I would prescribe walk 5 miles per day. I do it in 2 walk, one in the morning and one in the afternoon.
A note about diet. I’ve been able to continue with the carnivore diet during all this time since my last blog, eating a high fat version with mostly eggs and bacon, burger, other cuts of beef and occasional steaks. I still love the diet and I still feel really good eating this way and the simplicity of the way of eating.
My next blog will be coming out soon talking all about my experience with the holistic dentist. I’m going tomorrow for my second visit.